The Sweet Sixteen saw order restored – no upsets! The Elite 8 starts today and is filled with #1s and #2s except for #5 Little John who barrels his way into the next round (like only a big brown bear can). Wish Upon A Star Region#1 Jiminy Cricket def. #5 Jaq and Gus 9-8 #2 The Seven Dwarfs def. #3 Thumper 15-5 Let’s be honest… a vote for the dwarfs is essentially a vote for Grumpy and/or Dopey. Does any other Dwarf even matter? Maybe Bashful because he’s REALLY cute but unless you are a doctor (Doc), have bad allergies (Sneezy), are narcoleptic (Sleepy) or are boring (Happy), I’m not sure who is relating to four through seven. Dopey gets a lot of play because he’s the most unique (no beard, no voice) and stands out amongst the seven. However, it’s Grumpy who’s the only Dwarf with his own merchandise. During the movie, even Snow White pays him more attention than anyone else. Why is this? I think it’s because, at our core, people are just miserable and misery loves company so we all love Grumpy because he makes us feel normal and less guilty for being a drag. It’s the same reason that walking rain cloud Eeyore is so darn popular. As for Snow White, she pays Grumpy more heed because he’s the only one not falling all over her and bending over backwards at her every whim and, now, she’s hooked! Take note, men… Grumpy’s got game. Pixie Dust Region#5 Little John def. #8 Skippy 12-3 #2 Flora, Fauna and Merryweather def. #6 The Lost Boys 9-7 Oo-de-lally! Let’s hear it for Little John! Sure, he couldn’t get his own Reward Poster nor can he do anything without some jerk comparing him to Baloo but, here, he’s the lowest seed to make it to our Elite Eight! Little John really is an underrated character though – he sings, he fights, he dances and he’s a hero from beginning to end (unlike Baloo who starts out as a selfish and lazy coward before ultimately redeeming himself). Don’t count him out in the next round either. Does he deserve to beat out the fairies? Probably not. Will he? Maybe! Hakuna Matata Region#1 Timon and Pumbaa def. #5 Magic Carpet 11-6 #2 Sebastian def. #6 Flounder 10-5 One of our loyal readers, Cori Rosenhaus, made an excellent point whilst voting for Timon and Pumbaa. She commented that she chose the duo “solely for their comic relief and fart jokes.” Now, I could be wrong, but I believe this is Disney’s first EVER foray into farts. Sure, Disney has a rich history of smoking, drinking and racism but never flatulence. There’s a certain modernity and self-awareness in fart jokes and Timon and Pumbaa were true pioneers and key in blasting Disney forward into a new era of animation. Warm Hugs Division#1 Olaf def. #5 Sven 13-2 #2 Mushu def. #3 Ray 9-7 Even though they’re family movies, Disney has no qualms with dabbling in death. However, they only kill two types of characters: villains and parents of main characters. Villains because they’re bad guys and parents because this makes us sympathize with the protagonist while also working as a means for personal growth (Simba can’t be king with Mufasa hanging around). Then, there’s Ray…. Ray is the first and only Disney character to die (and stay dead) who doesn’t fall under the aforementioned criteria. His story arc is also one of the best to grace Disney Feature Animation. Ray is the main catalyst in not only teaching Tianna and Naveen about love but also making them realize that they love each other. He does this, in part, by waxing poetic about his one true love, Evangeline, who was once a firefly like himself but is now a star in the night sky. Everyone looks at him like he’s crazy but, when he ultimately passes, we see a new star appear right next to Evangeline and everyone realizes that Ray fulfilled his destiny to join his love once again. Ray’s death wasn’t a part of a thrilling and satisfying climax like a villain’s nor is it a storytelling device like a parent’s passing. His death is just a death. The bad guy squashes him like the bug he is and everyone gets sad. This is why it’s so powerful – it’s real, it’s final, it’s sad and it’s ultimately not a big deal – just a slice of death. Voting for the Elite Eight begins today, March 27, 2015.
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